Mary Herman Cole

Mary Herman Cole, 90, passed away peacefully on January 22, 2026. Born February 3, 1935, in Stateville NC, Mary was the daughter of Dr. Charles Bernard Herman and Mary Miller Herman. She graduated from Statesville High School and attended Stratford College in Danville, Va. She graduated from UNC Chapel Hill with a degree in Elementary Education. She taught school in Harmony, Carrboro, Durham and Hillsborough, N.C. Mary was preceded in death by her parents and her son, James Anderson Cole III who passed from this earth at age 15. To honor the memory of Anderson, Mary was instrumental in establishing the James Anderson Cole III Scholarship Fund at Durham Academy, which has benefitted students in need of financial assistance for more that 47 years and will continue to do so. This scholarship is also a reflection of Mary’s desire to teach and encourage children. She tutored many children in her home through the years, and had the gift of knowing how to help them achieve success.

Mary greatly treasured her relationships with friends and family and was energized by a variety of activities that showed her zest for life and her tremendous competitive spirit. She loved her social clubs. She was president of the Garden Council in Durham and her town and country garden club. Mary cherished time spent with friends at the beach and in the mountains, where she continued snow skiing until the age of 75. Mary was a confident and talented shagger, competing in numerous dance competitions. As friends will attest to, Mary’s athleticism and agility were seen on full display on the dance floor, tennis courts and the ski slopes. She was also a master Bridge player accumulating over 100 points. She played to win and usually succeeded!

She was known for her impeccable style and often declared, in her own words, “I’m high fashion.” A true, blue Carolina fan, Mary rarely missed a game and made sure her wardrobe clearly displayed Tarheel pride. She was equally well known for her legendary Christmas parties, with hundreds of guests attending—though even then, her collection of Santas outnumbered them all.

Mary is survived by her sister, Patsy Surles (Charlie) of High Point; three nephews, Charles Surles (Vanessa), John Surles (Lara), and David Surles (Alison); and nine grand-nieces and grand-nephews who loved her dearly. She also leaves behind a longtime devoted companion, Gayle Speaks.

A chapel service to celebrate Mary’s life will be held at 2 pm on Friday, January 30, 2026 at the Hall-Wynne Funeral Home, 113 W. Main St., Durham, NC. Family will receive friends before the service at 1 pm in the funeral home parlor.

Mary left her footprint in the sand of many people’s life. She was loved by all who knew her and will be missed. She was a super sister, the fun aunt and a phenomenal friend. The family wishes to thank all who have reached out with love and support. In lieu of flowers, the family request that memorials be direct to the James Anderson Cole III Scholarship Fund at Durham Academy, 3601 Ridge Road Durham, NC 27705.