Holley Barnes Broughton

One of the very few advantages of dying from ALS is that you have time to write your obituary. As a lifelong communicator, control freak, and ardent Oxford comma devotee, how could I say no? (The other advantages are saying the heck with sunscreen, driving fast around curves, and eating cake all day.) 

If you’re reading this, I have died on Tuesday, May 13, 2025, from the effects of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or ALS. 

I was born in Arlington, Virginia on November 4, 1960, four days before John F. Kennedy was elected President and the start of celebrating my birthday on or around Election Day. I’ve called Oakton, VA, Ft. Pierce, FL, Morristown, NJ, Eutaw, AL, Washington, DC, and Durham, NC home and made life-long friends in each meaningful place. I graduated from the University of Alabama in 1983 (Roll Tide!) with a BA in Communications. My first job was at 14, working at Vollrath’s Dress Shop in Eutaw where absolute terror would strike if someone made a purchase and I had to make change. Aside from my life-long side-eye fear of math, I loved and enjoyed every job I ever had and remained close with my treasured co-workers at the United States Senate Republican Conference, the Durham Convention and Visitors Bureau, Duke University Stores, Trinity School of Durham and Chapel Hill, and Duke Orthopaedics. I would be remiss in failing to mention having my dream job working alongside my husband Paul with BSPEC across 45 countries and 6 continents (IYKYK.)

While living a life, it’s easy to miss the big things that move silently among the day-to-day little things. My biggest BIG thing was meeting Paul Broughton from Southern Pines, North Carolina at the Third Edition bar (RIP) in Georgetown, on February 1,1986. Introduced by our mutual friend, Kirk Bell, that chance meeting changed my whole everything for the better. Married in 1989, we created the heart and soul of our life–a home filled with energy, chaos, children, ups and downs, and always laughter. I am forever grateful for our marriage and the love we shared. 

God gave me abundant gifts in the love of many who helped shape me and who I hope to see in heaven: My parents, George Picton “Tee” Barnes and Patricia Hoffman Stark, who gave me a love for books so I’d have an endless group of friends my whole life; my grandparents, Eugene “Pops” and Marguerite “Mimi” Hoffman who showed me what leaning in can truly mean; my great-aunt Margaret Hoffman, who took me into her home as an unruly 11-year-old; Roy and Mary Swayze, who gave me a rich foundation built on love and adventure; Howard and Penelope “Pete” Broughton, my treasured in-law-loves; and many friends and family who supported us during this rude and obnoxious disease. Your love, meals, prayers, encouragements, notes, flowers, thrift hunts, Ferris wheel rides, donkey visits, and more sustained and buoyed our family during difficult days. Thank you. 

As I’m writing this, I am amazed at how much energy I had for groups and clubs in Durham. Each one brought me such joy and treasured friends. I loved being a part of Brightleaf Music Workshop, The Junior League of Durham and Chapel Hill, Brightleaf Book Club, The Towne Club, The Debutante Ball Society, Canterbury Club, Hope Valley Garden Club, Hope Valley Country Club, and The Country Club of North Carolina. So many happy memories and adventures! 

I am survived by my precious husband, Paul Dana Broughton, and our four absolutely perfect children: George Picton Barnes Broughton, Penelope Mary Broughton, Julia Hoffman Broughton, and Louisa Bayard Broughton, the brightest shining stars in my life. I adore my wonderful brother and first friend John Douglas Barnes and his wife Allison, my brothers-in-law and their wives (my sisters from other mothers), Howard Chalk Broughton, Jr. and Kara, and David Popham Broughton and Charlotte. I leave behind my two close cousins, Barry Smith and Lee Whitlock, and their beautiful families. My nine (!) wonderful nieces and nephews, Holley Barnes Phillips (Bryce), Thomas George Barnes, Douglas William Barnes; Hannah Webster Eanes (Zach), Christopher Chalk Broughton (Madeline), Sarah Nicole Webster; Charlotte Winborne Broughton, Eleanor Popham Broughton, and Shaffer Chandler Broughton added delight to my life! I love my precious god-daughters Kimberly Mary Fletcher, Caroline Few Elliott (Frank), Elli Morrison McAdams (Wes), and Jordan Townsend Chabinsky (Harrison). Having known each of them all of their lives has been an enormous blessing. I am deeply grateful for the love of Paul’s extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins!) who embraced me as their own. We sure had lots of happy times together. I’m overwhelmingly grateful for the many, many loving, kind, and generous friends who have supported me throughout my lifetime, especially these last years. I treasure our time together thrifting, creating, traveling, laughing, crying, and stirring up trouble. Oh, what fun we had. 

I believe we are knitted tightly to each other in this big crazy life to strengthen, love, and truly see each other. I’ve always had a heart for the “other,” the person in the wings waiting to be enveloped and I hope the life I lived showed how important that was to me. I was given the gift of life and now I must give it back and honestly, it’s so hard. When I was diagnosed with ALS in July 2022, I made a conscious choice to be joyful and grateful for having lived a full life, rather than be despondent about a death sentence. And amazingly, this worked for me. (Well, you know, most of the time.) Therapy, art, my faith, and family and friends helped me accept what I couldn’t change and for that I am at peace. I was lovingly cared for by wonderful and kind humans, especially Maria Gomez, Awilda Reyes, Duke Hospice, Dr. Richard Bedlack and the heroes at the Duke ALS Clinic. I am bolstered by treasured images of Paul and our babies and all the animals I loved, and friends, of laughter and tears, of welcomes and losses, of big loud days and quiet hushed moments. 

My beloved Paul, George, Penn, Julia, and Weezie. My precious friends and family. My doctors and nurses and kind caregivers. How magnificent you all have been to me. Knowing and loving each one of you was the richness and glitter and shiny of my life. I’m still figuring out how heaven works: Who do I call to meet up with Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, and Elvis? How do I arrange a HUGE family reunion and can we get tee-shirts? But one thing I do know is that once I get there (fingers crossed!) I’ll be made whole again and waiting to love and hug each of you, joyfully, on the other side.

If you are inclined, I’d love to support St. Philip’s Episcopal Church in Durham, North Carolina, The Duke ALS Clinic and Compassionate Cares ALS. Thank you.

It’s a beautiful day and look up! The clouds outside are glorious!

xoxo 

Holley/Mom

(A celebration of Holley’s life will be held on Monday, June 9th at 2PM at Duke Chapel on the campus of Duke University.)

The family is under the care of Hall-Wynne Funeral Service.