Elizabeth Ann Flaherty

“To enjoy, we must love, and to love, we must sacrifice.” St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

Elizabeth Ann Flaherty, better known as Betsy, Mom, or Grandma, went home to God early Monday, July 20, 2026 surrounded by her family at home after a long and courageous battle with cancer followed by a stroke. Throughout her entire life, she was devoted to her faith and her family who are at peace knowing that she is no longer in pain. Born on August 28, 1949 to the late Cliff and Virginia Sutton of Phillipsburg, NJ, Betsy attended school at the parish of St. Phillip and St. James as a child, at which she would later marry her great love.

Betsy lived a life full of quiet surprises. Having graduated from Douglas College with a degree in History, she accepted a position in the Pentagon working with the NSA in the Department of Defense and attended Georgetown University where she received her master’s degree in Russian Area Studies. Who would have thought that the self-proclaimed “hippie” of her younger years would have worked for the government. As one of few women on her team, she would later joke that she had higher clearance than necessary simply to use the restroom! It was during this time that she was the Maid of Honor in her college roommate’s wedding where she would meet her future husband.

Betsy and John Flaherty married on February 4, 1978 and newlyweds moved to Pittsburgh where they started their family. Betsy would spend the next several years making their house into a home, raising their 3 children whom they welcomed through adoption. She returned to the workforce when the family moved to North Carolina in 1994. She assisted in the Kindergarten class and was the After School Director at Immaculata Catholic School in Durham where her children attended, and they worshipped at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church. She later received her teaching degree in early childhood education at UNC Chapel Hill and continued in that field until retiring in 2017 to care for her ailing mother.

Most days, but especially after both she and John were retired, you would be hard-pressed to see one without the other. They regularly attended Mass, competed daily in online card games, and enjoyed traveling together. One of their favorite destinations was Helen, GA, and their kids and grandkids were fortunate to accompany them on their anniversary trip there this past February.

Betsy never gave her children any reason to question her love and support. She was a constant cheerleader for her children’s goals and aspirations and wanted nothing more than for her kids to be happy. Though not an athlete herself - she chose archery for P.E. in college as she held little interest in more traditional sports until marrying someone from Pittsburgh - she never missed a ball game, meet, or performance that her children participated in. Even after her children grew older and moved away, she was present as much as possible for any of their milestones.

As wonderful of a mother as she was - and she was the best anyone could hope for - Betsy was born to be a grandmother. She was a natural teacher, one of the most patient people you would ever meet, she had an enormous and generous heart, and she was exceptionally creative. Betsy loved needlepoint, cross-stitch, knitting, and was always in the middle of multiple projects for her family. Her daughter-in-law referred to her as a Fiber Artist. She was an avid reader, a daily sudoku and solitaire player, and a fan of British mystery shows and Hallmark movies. But, what she was famous for was her cookies- especially at Christmas-time. One of her greatest joys was gathering her grandchildren together to decorate them. Christmas was by far her favorite holiday, which she instilled in her family, and it will never be the same without her to celebrate with.

Betsy was never one to complain, though she had plenty of reasons to after she was diagnosed the breast cancer in 2022, went through rigorous treatment for over a year before going into remission in early 2024, and have it come back with a vengeance mid 2025. She was a warrior, pushing through every new obstacle with her courage, determination, and trust that her life remained in God’s hands. Despite obvious pain and discomfort, her main priority was to making sure her family knew how loved they were. They are comforted knowing that she is no longer suffering.

In addition to her parents, Betsy is preceded in death by brother, Billy Sutton, and sister-in-law, Jackie Flaherty. She will be dearly missed by her beloved husband, John; her devoted children, John, Bethann (Scott), and Tom (Ashley); her cherished grandchildren, Addison, Jack, Izabelle, Ruby, and Harrison; her brother, John Sutton (Maureen); her brothers and sisters-in-law, Joe (Jane), Jeff (Debbie), Jay (Karen); and her many nieces and nephews.

The family would like to thank the teams at Duke Cancer Center and Duke University Hospital for the care and support they provided over the past 4 years, especially Dr. Westbrook, her oncologist, who’s compassion throughout Betsy’s treatment will never be forgotten.

Betsy’s life will be celebrated at Immaculate Conception Church on Saturday, July 25th in Durham, NC with a visitation at 12:30PM and Funeral Mass at 1PM, followed by a repast in the fellowship hall. She will then make her final trip back to Pittsburgh where she will be laid to rest in Good Shepard Cemetery the following week. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in her honor to the National Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emmitsburg, MD. Betsy was named after St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, appropriately the Patron Saint of Catholic schools, teachers/educators, widows, and orphans. She also serves as a patron for those suffering from the loss of parents or children. In her last day on earth, she was able to do a virtual tour at the Shrine and Basilica with her grandchildren, as her wish to take them in person wasn’t meant to be.