Antonia (Tonie) Lilley

Durham – Antonia (Tonie) Bess Goldstein Lilley, age 60, died at her home on January 21, 2026. She was born in Paris, France on August 3, 1965 to Carl Goldstein and the late Signe Waller Foxworth.

Tonie attended New Garden Friends School in Greensboro during her elementary and middle school years, making friendships that have lasted over five decades. In high school, she found kindred spirits among the Grimsley Playmasters, attended the Weaver Drama program, and had several dramatic roles in their productions. She earned her Bachelor of Arts and Masters in Public Health from UNC-Chapel Hill, where she met her husband, Dave.

Tonie was always active in community building, organizing playgroups for her children, block parties, and a neighborhood festival. She worked as a health educator, as a poll worker during elections, as a freelance writer, at the Durham Food Coop, and as a substitute teacher and summer camp counselor at Carolina Friends School. Tonie had a lifelong passion for reading, and her favorite genre was science fiction/fantasy. In recent years, she worked at the Regulator Bookstore, where she was a beloved member of the bookselling community.

Tonie’s love was as loyal and deep as it was astonishing and playful. A true light, she warmed her loved ones with her presence—one that this world so dearly needed. Her sharp wit and deliciously dry, dark humor brought laughter at just the right moments, Nowhere did her light shine more brilliantly than in her devotion to her children. With her loving husband at her side, she was lion-hearted in her determination to create a safe and nurturing home. Fierce in her protection, boundless in her creativity, and endlessly playful, she filled their days with adventure and imagination, while striving to make sure they felt safe, steady, and deeply cherished.

Tonie is survived by Dave, her beloved husband of 38 years, her children Benny and Cassie, and her father Carl.

Tonie was preceded in death by her mother Signe Waller Foxworth and her younger brother Alex Goldstein.

Memorial services will be held Saturday, April 4 from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. at Hall-Wynne Funeral Service, Durham, NC.

In lieu of flowers, the family invites those who wish to honor her memory to consider a memorial donation to Planned Parenthood.